Seasons of Life

This isn’t the season of sleeping in
Of drinking hot coffee
Of quiet mornings
Of staying out all night
Of having a clean house
Of going to the bathroom alone
Of going wherever I want whenever I want
Of taking long showers
Of relaxing for longer than 20 min
Of watching my shows
Of traveling
Of doing my makeup and wearing jewelry
Of focusing on my career

This is the season of waking up early on weekends
Of changing diapers
Of cleaning a high chair 10 times a day
Of pulling stuff out of your mouth
Of being exhausted all the time
Of crawling around on the floor
Of holding you while you cry
Of revolving my days around your naps
Of constantly being needed
Of ear infections
Of teething
Of a messy house
Of smelling your butt
Of announcing when I have to go to the bathroom
Of milestones
Of playdates
Of catching your falls
Of kissing you whenever I want
Of hearing your first words
Of seeing your first steps
Of singing to you
Of reading to you
Of being the most important person in your life and the one you love most.

And you, my love, are the reason for this season. This beautiful, exhausting, frustrating, demanding, overwhelming, exhilarating, magical, all consuming season of life that isn’t going to last forever. The season of life that everyone eventually misses and wishes they could have back. ❤️

Who am I?

I figured the best place to start this blog would be to first share who I was before motherhood took over my life and how it has changed me.

My name is Heather Murdock Spurlock. (Murdock is my maiden name.. you can see why I had to make it my middle name once I got married). Before Everett was placed on my chest, I was just another CPA working at a desk all day long. Funny enough, my husband is also a CPA, so you can only imagine how fun we are. We were living our mundane day to day life of waking up, going to the gym, going to work, coming home late and then doing it all over again the next day. We went to the same restaurants every weekend and meal prepped on Sundays. Have I convinced you yet of how much fun we are?

We were born to be parents. It was all we ever talked about and we were so excited to start that next phase of life after we got married. I always wondered what would happen once I became a mom. I’m very Type A, so I knew it would be difficult to go back to an office and send my baby to daycare and me not be in control all the time. I always dreamed about taking some time off to stay home for a while but as two accountants, we know the importance of having stable incomes and security. So, I figured it wasn’t in the cards for us so we enrolled in a daycare and planned to send E there once he was 3 months old.  Then COVID happened. 

I was 6 months pregnant when COVID hit the US. Fortunately, my husband and I were both able to work from home and stay in our bubble to keep us all safe. We are still in that bubble 10 months later… and we’re somehow still married. (I think that should be the new requirement before getting married..  quarantining together for 6 months…yikes) When E graced us with his presence in June of 2020, we were in the thick of the pandemic. I always dreamed of having our parents meet their grandbaby at the hospital and all of us sobbing together while taking turns holding him. Unfortunately, no visitors were allowed and that dream was crushed for all of us. So, that sucked. However, I can definitely understand how overwhelming that would have been having any extra people in that room considering there is someone coming in every 30 minutes to take blood, help change the baby’s diaper, help change your diaper.. it’s exhausting. So, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. But I digress.

During maternity leave, we made the decision to cancel our enrollment at the daycare because we were way too worried about our newborn catching COVID or passing it to the grandparents. Once my 10 weeks were up, I went back to working from the couch with a baby sleeping on my chest. After keeping him home for a few months, we both quickly realized how hard it would have been to actually send him to a daycare, pandemic or no pandemic. So we came to the decision that I should take a step away from my career and stay home with him for a while.

Over the months, we have discovered that E is what’s called a “high needs” baby (post coming soon), so I really don’t think a daycare would be able to or want to keep up with him. I’m very grateful to be able to give him the love and energy he needs day in and day out. This boy requires A LOT of energy! But my goodness am I obsessed with this amazing, perfect little boy. 

All of this to say, I am still a Type A, health nut, fitness loving, math nerd but my current passion is being his Mama. I have found a new purpose in life and for right now, Everett is my WHY. Raising a strong, empathetic, smart, loving, decent human being that will give to society is now my sole focus and too soon that will all change and I’ll need to find my WHY again. So, while I am able to be in this phase of life I figured why not document it all and help some other mom out there googling why her baby is over 6 months old and still screaming and crying all day while all her friends have “chill” babies. (This is how I found that E is considered high needs.) 

I’m still figuring out how to balance being a mom and still be myself. I’m learning to fill my cup first whether it’s by getting an uninterrupted, 30 minute workout in or getting quiet time to write out this blog post. I’m still trying to be a good wife and give my husband the time he deserves. 

The balance isn’t always easy but it is necessary. As moms, we’re always trying to do it all, all the dang time. When it comes to food, exercise, working, being a mom, being a wife, whatever it is.. there has to be a balance. Don’t try to eat so healthy that you don’t enjoy food. Don’t workout so hard that you don’t enjoy the process. Don’t worry so much about being the perfect mom or wife that you forget to be present with the ones you love most.

I hope you can find the healthy balance that works for you and I hope by sharing my experiences that you can commiserate or possibly even learn ways to find the balance you’re seeking. 

Until next time. 

#zerotohero #motherhood #parenting #sahm #wellness